Friday, July 11, 2025
AFFILIATE PROGRAM: GET LOOT LIKE A PUNK ROCK OVERLORD
Monday, July 7, 2025
ATTENTION, COSMIC OUTLAWS! FREE GIVEAWAY!
Buccaneer Bunny’s opening 3 CREW SLOTS—and one could be YOURS if you:
1️⃣ Comment why you’d rob water pods with Bucky ("…because Grimaldi’s too busy interviewing space clowns to stop me!").
2️⃣ Tag 2 first mates (the more treasonous, the better).
3️⃣ Repost for 5x entries (and eternal pirate cred).
BONUS: Drop a Mr. T impression TikTok (#BuccaneerBunnyCrew) to skip the plank and win instantly.
⏳ 72 HOURS ONLY—winners get:
Voiced cameo in the anime (eternal glory).
Golden Eyepatch (rarer than Grimaldi’s dignity).
$100 store credit (fund your rebellion).
π« DON’T BE A FOOL. ENTER NOW: [LINK]
#BuccaneerBunny #PityTheFools #AnimeGiveaway #DeathToGrimaldi
Sunday, July 6, 2025
EVERYONE OUT OF THE SOCIAL MEDIA POOL—WE FOUND THE HOLY GRAIL OF VINTAGE SHARK HORROR
This 1975 IDEAL JAWS GAME commercial is so delightfully cursed, it’ll make you:
Laugh (at the toy’s "scary" mechanics),
Cry (*because this cost $12.99 in 1975—aka $70 in trauma tax),
Question everything (why are the kids happy?!).
π WATCH BEFORE THE ALGORITHM EATS IT. #JAWS #VintageHorror #BruceTheMarketingShark
BLACKJACK BRIGADE: HUMAN-CRAFTED ANIME (With One Ironic AI Twist)
New Moon Rising: Enter to Win a Year of Space Monsters (If You Dare)
INCOMING TRANSMISSION....COMMLINK ESTABLISHED...
π₯ FREE SUBSCRIPTION ALERT, EARTHIES! π₯
Want a year's worth of gore, sci-fi and punk-rock terror ABSOLUTELY FREE? One lucky (or doomed) follower will win:
π A FULL YEAR of Space Monsters Magazine (4 blood-soaked issues)
π All the Spectral Legion perks (glowing badge, demonic ID card, 10% off for life)
π Bragging rights as Grimaldi's favorite mortal (until you inevitably disappoint me)
TO ENTER:
1️⃣ Follow: https://www.facebook.com/spacemonstersmag
2️⃣ Like & Share this post
3️⃣ Tag 2 fellow degenerates who deserve cosmic punishment
Winner drawn when the New Moon is seen in the Earthie sky (July 24).
π STILL HERE? Non-winners can join the Spectral Legion today and get:
Instant membership swag
10% off your first order
My conditional approval
End Transmission
π Enter to Win: https://www.facebook.com/spacemonstersmag
π Join the Damned: https://obliviontradingpost.com/
#SpaceMonstersGiveaway #SpectralLegion #WinHorror #GrimaldiHatesYou
P.S. Losers will be publicly mocked in our next issue. Choose wisely.
Saturday, July 5, 2025
Become a character in our anime! You can become CANON!
IMPERIAL TRANSMISSION #666 – UNAUTHORIZED VIEWING PUNISHABLE BY DEATH.
In a fascist universe where water is gold, Buccaneer Bunny (a 3-foot rabbit who sounds like Mr. T) leads the Blackjack Brigade to hijack Imperial ships. But when they loot the wrong derelict vessel, they awaken Grimaldi—the undead host of Space Monsters Magazine—and ignite a blood feud that’ll shake the Horsehead Nebula.
THE ELEVATOR PITCH
*"Imagine if Looney Tunes and Heavy Metal had a baby… then that baby was raised by John Carpenter and George Romero on a diet of The A-Team reruns. That’s Buccaneer Bunny—a 3-foot-tall, Mr. T-sounding, anti-cute space pirate stealing water from fascist robots, dodging Grimaldi’s undead wrath, and looking good doing it."*
We’re in talks with a legendary voice actor to bring Buccaneer Bunny to life. Backers get first dibs on the reveal.
TIER 1: "DECKHAND" ($100–$250)
"Join the Blackjack Brigade as a rookie. You get:
Digital Space Monsters zines (1 year) – Study Grimaldi’s rage.
Early digital film download – See the water heist before the Imperials can censor it.
Discord role – Access to the pirate’s den."*
Visit: https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/blackjack-brigade-tier-1-deckhand
TIER 2: "FIRST MATE" ($300–$1,000)
"Earn your stripes. You get:
Print + digital Space Monsters – Intel on Grimaldi’s undead origins.
"Grimaldi vs. Bunny" mini-comic – The feud, explained.
Signed poster + NPC Easter Egg – Your name hidden in the Jolly Roger’s crew logs.
Test screening access – Help us tweak the final cut.
Signed Blu-ray – Proof you were there when Bunny punched a droid."*
Visit: https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/blackjack-brigade-tier-2-first-mate
TIER 3: "SHIP CAPTAIN" ($2,000–$4,000)
"Call the shots. You get:
Custom leather eyepatch – OTP-designed, battle-scarred.
Original sketch of your pirate OC – Drawn by our lead artist.
Buccaneer’s Kit – Wanted Poster + T-shirt + all Tier 2 loot.
IMDb credit as "Space Pirate Consultant.""*
Visit: https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/blackjack-brigade-tier-3-ship-captain
TIER 4: "LAGOMORPH LEGEND" ($5K–$7.5K)
"Become canon. You get:
Custom bunny/zombie character – Based on you (or your OC).
Voiced line – Coached by us to sound like a "fool-pityin’ space outlaw."
IMDb credit as "Voice Actor" – Your grandkids will Google you.
Bloodstained Wanted Poster – "Last seen stealing water pods."
All Tier 3 loot – Because legends deserve options."*
Visit: https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/blackjack-brigade-tier-4-lagomorph-legend
TIER 5: "FLEET ADMIRAL" ($10K+)
"Own the war. You get:
Supporting character role – 2–5 lines, multiple scenes.
5% profit share (capped at $20K) – Pirate dividends.
Lifetime Space Monsters sub – Every issue, past and future.
Executive Producer credit – Flex on IMDb.
Visit: https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/blackjack-brigade-tier-5-fleet-admiral
Visit Blackjack Brigade on Oblivion Trading Post: https://obliviontradingpost.com/collections/blackjack-brigade-collection
#MrT #spacemonstersmagazine #obliviontradingpost #blackjackbrigade #buccaneerbunny #grimaldi #horror #scifi #anime #manga
Wednesday, July 2, 2025
For all Monster Kids both Past and Present
Incoming Transmission....Commlink Established...
TO ALL MONSTER KIDS, PAST AND FUTURE—
The bloodline continues. The unholy gospel of Ackerman, Warren, and the original monster mag mavens flows through our veins—but this ain’t just a tribute act. This is the next mutation.
π₯ SPACE MONSTERS MAGAZINE π₯
Where the Old School Meets the New Nightmare
(And Where Film Professionals & Fans Collide in a Beautiful, Bloody Mess)
WE’RE THE MONSTER KIDS WHO GREW UP—BUT NEVER SOLD OUT.
π¬ BY FILM CREATORS, FOR FILM CREATORS – Our writers? FX wizards, scream queens, indie horror directors, and Hollywood’s underground. This isn’t just fandom—it’s a backstage pass to how the dark magic gets made.
π THE TORCH IS OURS NOW – We bow to the legends (Famous Monsters, Creepy, Eerie), but we’re not stuck in the past. We’re pushing the genre forward—same love of latex and lore, but with 2025-level savagery.
π½ INSIDER KNOWLEDGE, OUTSIDER ATTITUDE – Ever wanted to hear practical FX masters rant about CGI? Indie horror directors spill set secrets? Actors who’ve been stabbed on-screen explain why fake blood tastes terrible? This is your bible.
π€ FANS WELCOME, POSERS BEWARE – Whether you’re a working filmmaker or just a monster kid with a VHS addiction, this is your tribe. No gatekeeping. Just gore.
"GRIMALDI, THIS SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE."
Oh, it’s true. And it’s terrifying.
π SUBSCRIBE NOW OR LIVE IN REGRET π
THE LEGACY LIVES.
THE SLAY CONTINUES.
WILL YOU BE PART OF IT—OR JUST ANOTHER EXTRA IN THE MASS GRAVE OF FANDOM?
End Transmission
π Join the Bloodline: www.spacemonstersmagazine.com
π Feed the Mutation: www.obliviontradingpost.com
P.S. Forry’s ghost is nodding in approval. Ackerman would’ve stolen this zine for his collection.
#SpaceMonstersMagazine #MonsterKids #HorrorMagazine #SciFiMagazine #CarryingTheTorch #ForrestJAckerman #JamesWarren #CreepyMagazine #EerieMagazine #FamousMonsters #PracticalFX #IndieHorror #HorrorFilmmakers #GoreAndGlory #PunkRockHorror #ZineCulture #HorrorCommunity #FilmProfessionals #ScreamQueens #FXArtists #NoCGIJustBlood #SubscribeToTheMadness
Monday, June 30, 2025
π₯ CYBERBEATNIK MARKETING MANIFESTO: The Jason Brazeal Direct Response Method (Or: How to Make Squaresville Cry While Counting Your Loot) π₯
Tuesday, June 24, 2025
π "GLOW OR GO HOME: GRIMALDI ACTION FIGURES ARE HERE TO HAUNT YOUR SHELF!" π
π "GLOW OR GO HOME: GRIMALDI ACTION FIGURES ARE HERE TO HAUNT YOUR SHELF!" π
πΈ VISUAL:
A dark room with only the Grimaldi figure glowing like a post-apocalyptic beacon (bonus points if it’s next to your Space Monsters mag for cred).
Caption: "When the power goes out, we still shine. π₯"
π CAPTION COPY:
"Carbon-units, listen up! These officially licensed Grimaldi glow-in-the-dark action figures aren’t just toys—they’re post-apocalyptic relics for true horror fiends. Here’s why you need one:
GLOW LIKE THE THING IN A BLACKLIGHT PARTY
Perfect for midnight shelf raids or scaring squaresville normies during blackouts.
OFFICIALLY LICENSED = SPACE MONSTERS APPROVED
This ain’t some Mason-Dixon knockoff—it’s the real deal, just like Space Monsters Magazine merch.
PAIRS PERFECTLY WITH YOUR CRASH LANDING PACK
Because doomsday prepping should be stylish 6.
$44.99? PFFT. THAT’S LESS THAN A NIGHT OUT AT THE PUCKER PALACE!
(And this will last longer too!)
#GlowInTheDarkHorror #SplatPackApproved #SpaceMonstersMagazine #PostApocalypticFlex
π GRAB YOURS HERE π
https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/officially-licensed-grimaldi-action-figure
Sunday, June 22, 2025
Win a Free VIP Membership Subscribe to Space Monsters Magazine Today!
Incoming Transmission....Commlink Established...
"ATTENTION, EARTHIES!
Do you crave the sweet, slimy embrace of Grimaldi’s Spectral Legion? Or are you content to wallow in the lukewarm mediocrity of mainstream existence?
WE ARE OFFERING ONLY 50 SPOTS. That’s right—50. Less than the number of brain cells it takes to enjoy a Marvel movie. And here’s what you get when you join the Phantom Lieutenant Tier of my elite horror legion:
YOUR TICKET TO THE COSMIC ABYSS INCLUDES:
π₯ A FULL YEAR of Space Monsters Magazine (All 4 Issues) – 150+ pages of gore, sci-fi, and punk-rock terror delivered straight to your doorstep (or your grave, if you prefer).
π₯ Exclusive Discounts – Slash prices on merch, Babel Fish Press releases, and first dibs on cursed collectibles.
π₯ LED Membership Badge & Lanyard (Upgrade Option) – Glow in the dark like the radioactive trash you are.
π₯ Glowing Wallet-Sized Membership Card – Burned with your new demonic callsign (because "Dave from Accounting" was never scary).
π₯ 4 Limited-Edition Spectral Legion Buttons – Featuring Grimaldi’s greatest insults, perfect for triggering normies.
π₯ Legionnaire Lottery – Get featured in the magazine, win exclusive prizes, and prove you’re more than just expendable background fodder.
π₯ Lifetime 10% Off at Oblivion Trading Post – Because even monsters love a good deal.
π₯ Members-Only Merch – Items so rare, even Buccaneer Bunny couldn’t steal them.
AND NOW… A FREE MEMBERSHIP (IF YOU DARE)
"WE’RE GIVING AWAY A FREE YEAR OF SPECTRAL LEGION!"
HOW TO ENTER:
1️⃣ LIKE THIS POST (Or be forever branded a coward).
2️⃣ SHARE PUBLICLY (No hiding in the shadows, worm).
3️⃣ TAG 2 FILMMAKERS who deserve banishment to our ranks (We know who you’re thinking of).
π BONUS ENTRY: Drop your sickest burn on mainstream cinema below. ("Marvel is just expensive soap operas for man-children." – See? Easy.)
RULES (BECAUSE EVEN CHAOS HAS RULES):
☠️ Winner must prove they’ve made a film (IMDb link or it didn’t happen).
☠️ No bot accounts (6+ months old or face Grimaldi’s wrath).
☠️ Winner announced 7/21/2025—mark your calendars (or your tombstones).
"WHY JOIN? BECAUSE THE WORLD IS BORING AND YOU’RE NOT."
This isn’t just a subscription/monster fan club —it’s a lifeline to the damned. Only 50 spots exist. Will you seize yours… or will you fade into obscurity like a bad direct-to-streaming sequel?
π JOIN THE LEGION NOW π
"Tick tock, maggot. The Slime is watching."
π www.spacemonstersmagazine.com
π www.obliviontradingpost.com
...End Transmission...
#HorrorCommunity #SciFiHorror #SpaceMonsters #IndieHorror #HorrorMagazine #Gore #PunkRock #UndergroundComics #ExtremeHorror #BMovie #CultClassics #ZineCulture #HorrorArt #WeirdTales #AnalogHorror #HorrorFans #AlternativeMedia #HorrorMerch #ObscureHorror #DIYHorror #HorrorCollector #LimitedEdition #HorrorSubscription #HorrorClub #SpectralLegion #Grimaldi #BabelFishPress #OblivionTradingPost #HorrorGiveaway #FilmmakerLife
Wednesday, June 18, 2025
Why You Should Hire Babel Fish Films & Press – The Herschell Gordon Lewis-Trained Marketing Rebels
Why You Should Hire Babel Fish Films & Press – The Herschell Gordon Lewis-Trained Marketing Rebels
San Diego Businesses: Stop Wasting Money on Corporate Marketing Fluff. Let’s Get Real.
If your marketing isn’t working, it’s not because your business isn’t good enough—it’s because your messaging is weak. You've hired a cookie-cutter BS-laden marketing team that couldn't strategize themselves out of a wet paper bag!
At Babel Fish Films & Press, we don’t follow the same tired marketing playbooks that everyone else regurgitates. We were trained by Herschell Gordon Lewis, the godfather of direct response marketing, and we deploy his ruthless, results-driven tactics to make sure your business gets seen, gets remembered, and gets paid.
Here’s why you should hire us—and no one else.
Our Method (And Why It Works)
Herschell Gordon Lewis didn’t just write books on marketing—he rewrote the rules. His strategies weren’t based on guesses; they were battle-tested in the trenches of direct mail, email, and print. And now, we’re bringing that same no-BS, profit-first approach to San Diego businesses. His protΓ©gΓ© Jason Brazeal has arrived in San Diego and he wants to impart this wisdom to you:
1. "When Your Prospect Says Yes, Quit Selling."
Most marketers keep pushing long after the customer is ready to buy. We don’t.
If your call-to-action is buried, you’re losing sales.
We move "Click Here" to the top because urgency beats elegance.
No fluff. No filler. Just the offer, the reason to act, and the button.
2. Text vs. HTML? It Depends on the Goal.
Urgency? Plain text always wins. (Ever seen a crisis email in Comic Sans? No.)
Artistry? HTML can shine—but only if it doesn’t slow the message down.
We A/B test relentlessly because guessing is for amateurs.
3. "Don’t Pretty It Up" When You Need Action
Fancy graphics don’t sell. Clarity does.
If you’re running a limited-time offer, your email should look like a handwritten note from a friend, not a corporate brochure.
4. Case Matters (And So Do Exclamation Points)
"You Can Save 70%!" feels corporate. "you can save 70%." feels human.
We test both because even tiny tweaks can double response rates.
Exclamation points? Often a distraction. A period can be more powerful.
5. All-CAPS = Instant Tune-Out
"BUY NOW BEFORE IT’S GONE!" feels desperate.
"Last chance—stock is almost gone." feels urgent but credible.
6. Newsjacking (The Right Way)
Tying your message to real-world events boosts engagement.
But expired news (like last week’s game scores) makes you look lazy.
We help you leverage trends without seeming like a bandwagoner.
7. The Golden Rule: No Scrolling Required
If your offer isn’t clear in the first 3 seconds, you’ve lost.
We structure every message so the value is immediate and the CTA is unavoidable.
Why Hire Us Over Anyone Else?
1. We Were Trained by the Best (And It Shows)
Most marketers read Lewis’ books. We studied under his methods and applied them to real campaigns that made money.
2. We’re Graphic Designers & Filmmakers Too
Space Monsters Magazine proves we make print media exciting again.
Our films (Babel Fish Films) prove we know how to tell stories that sell.
We don’t just write copy—we build entire brand worlds.
3. We Work with Underdogs (Because We Are One)
Hate corporate jargon? So do we.
Tired of being ignored? We’ll make sure you’re not.
Want marketing that actually works? We don’t do fluff.
The Call to Action (Because We Practice What We Preach)
If you’re ready for marketing that doesn’t suck, here’s what to do:
Email us: babelfishsd@gmail.com
Subject line: "Make My Marketing Dangerous"
Check out our work:
Get a FREE 1-Page Marketing Audit
We’ll tear apart your current messaging and show you exactly where you’re losing sales.
First 5 replies get a FREE guerrilla marketing stunt idea tailored to your business.
Final Thought:
Most marketing is forgettable. Ours isn’t. Because unlike the corporate hacks, we don’t just follow rules—we rewrite them.
Let’s make your business impossible to ignore.
π Contact Us Now π
#PunkRockMarketing #HerschellTaughtUs #SanDiegoBizRevolution #AntiCorporateCreative #SpaceMonstersApproved #MarketingThatDoesntSuck #ClickHereOrDieTrying #GlowInTheDarkHustle #DallasIsWatching #BeatnikBusiness #CthulhuApproved #SellOutWithIntegrity #BabelFishOrDie #NoCAPSNoCares #MakeArtNotAds #SDMarketingRebels #PunkRockSD #SanDiegoSmallBiz #SDCreativeUnderdogs #PBBeachHustle #SDLocalLegends #GaslampGuerillas #SDMadeWeird #OceanBeachOrDie #SDNoCorporate #MissionValleyMisfits #NorthParkPunks #SDBusinessButCool #SanDiegoOrBust #SDSeenOnBeatnikBytes
AFFILIATE PROGRAM: GET LOOT LIKE A PUNK ROCK OVERLORD
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